An interview with Chuckle The Clown

“Good morning Chuckle, thank you for agreeing to this interview, I hope that the readers will find it interesting and that it will give them a glimpse into the world of the clown, may we begin?”

A ” Yes, please” ( Chuckle replies enthusiastically )

Q ” How long have you been a clown?”

A ” About five feet nine inches”

Q ” What attracted you to this line of work?”

A ” Mainly the bright colours and the balloons”

Q ” Your costume is very interesting, may I ask why your trousers are so baggy?”

A ” I’m leaving room to grow”

Q ” I couldn’t help noticing that you have very big feet, can you explain this?”

A ” Please don’t mention my feet, I’m very sensitive about them”

Q “How does it make you feel when people laugh at you?”

A ” It’s not fair, I paid a lot of money for my outfits and people should be more appreciative”

Q “Have you ever taken an IQ Test?”

A “No, but I did once take an eye test which sadly I failed”

Q “Which is your favourite political party”

A “I don’t have a favourite party. I go to lots of them and they are all fun”

Q “Some people say clowns are scary. What is your view on this?”

A “I agree, I never look in a mirror”

Q “Is it possible to make a lot of money being a clown”

A “Yes, definitely. All you need is a pair of scissors, some crayons and a big pile of scrap paper”

A “Have you ever had a proper job?”

A “Yes, I used to work in the City but the pressure got to me. The commuting, the stress, all that sell, sell, sell, every day. It got too much for me and lets face it nobody reads the Big Issue anymore, so I left”

Q “What motivates you?”

A “I am driven by a complete lack of responsibility”

Q “Would you describe yourself as an Icon for young people?”

A “No, I’d say I look more like an Acorn to some people”

Q “Are clowns a minority group”

A “Yes, they are. I’m trying to set up a pressure group as the tyres on my bike are flat”

Q “What is your greatest wish”

A “There is a popular idea that clowns are clumsy, brainless, bungling fools. I represent this miscontraception. It is high tide that these incontrovertable malplatitudes were ceremoniously deposited in the rubbish bin outside our local chippy. No single clown has set lower levels of achievement than I have. My greatest wish is to be taken more seriously”

Q “Thank you for answering my questions. What are you going to do for the rest of the day”

A “A group of workmen asked me to go shopping for them. They seemed very nice so I don’t mind helping out. They sent me off to look for a sky hook, a chocolate fire guard and a long stand. The nice man in the shop told me to wait here for the long stand so if you will excuse me I’ll get back to doing that. I wonder if the fire guard will be white chocolate because that’s my favourite.”

“Goodbye Chuckle”

“Good bye” ( Chuckle waves and smiles )

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